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Season 1

Wingman!

(Wingman is attacking pigs as the Wingman)

Director: CUT! Nice work, Terence!

(Terence begins destroying the set)

Director: Son of a bird! Somebody do something!

Lydia: Hey Terence!

(Lydia holds steak up, Terence stops and looks at steak, sits down)

Lydia: That's better. Here you go!

(Lydia tosses steak to Terence, who devours immediately.

Director: Why did he go crazy all of a sudden?

(Ryan hops onto set)

Ryan: Hey, who ate all the jaffa cakes?

Director: If I had hands I would facepalm myself right now.


Bathtime for Hamm!

Director: Okay, Hamm. In this scene you run over to the tub and hop in.

Ryan: That should be easy enough for him to understand.

Hamm: I weady!

Director: Okay now, ACTION!

(Hamm runs and makes a huge leap into bathtub, making all the water splash out and all over everyone)

Director: CUT!

Daniel: (Cough) Okay, how did he... how could ANYONE for that matter...

Ryan: Hamm!

Hamm: Was dat hop biggy enough?


Kiss the Cook!

Director: So in this scene, you realize everything on the menu has bacon on it, so you decide to start your own bacon-free resturaunt. Got it?

Pig: Got it!

Director: Okay then, ACTION!

(Pig sits at table and looks in menu. Evan hops over as waitor)

Pig: Uh, what's a Grand Slamwich?

Evan: That's everything that comes with a Grand Slam put into a sandwich.

Pig: Uh, so what's in it?

Evan: There's cheese, some mayo, sausage, some maple spread, some bacon, put together between to slices of potato bre-

Pig: Wait, did you say bacon?

(Dramatic scene of bird waitors and waitresses handing out bacon to customers, pig faints)

Director: CUT! Remember?! It's fake bacon!

Pig (on ground): I'm sorry... i-it's just too terrifying!

Season 2

Subject of Time 4

Director: This is the scene where you and the machine fall into the water, then we'll use special effects to show your character being electrocuted.

Pig: Ready!

Director: Aaaaannnnd... ACTION!

(Pig hops into water, followed by machine. Machine suddenly electrocutes pig, and 5000 points are given)

Director: What the... I wanted the FAKE machine in the water so it didn't REALLY electrocute him! CUT!

Stephanie: That was both the most messed up and the most awesome thing I've ever seen!

(Director pulls out walkie-talkie)

Director: Bob? Yes, we need a new pig on the double.

Voice on Walkie-Talkie: On it.


His Biggest Fan

Julia: OMGIcantbelivethisI'vealwayswantedtoworkwithyouguysand...

Director: Yeah, yeah, we're excited you get to work with us too, but can you please get onto your place on the set?

(Julia hops over to her place on the set next to Daniel)

Director: Now, remember your lines: 'I know you, I've seen you around the village, but you never saw me.' Okay? 

Julia: HiDanielthisissoamazingIcan'tbelieveI'mactuallydoingaTVshowwithyou...

(Daniel makes a face)

Director: ACTION!

(Julia says nothing, making dreamy eyes at Daniel)

Julia: OHICAN'TDOTHISTHISISJUSTTOAMAZING!!!

(Julia runs off of set)

Director (Quietly): I hate my job...


The Case of the Goggle Theif

Tyler: But if you didn't steal them, who did?

Ryan: Well, I can assure you I would never take my stepbrother's googles, but I do kno-

Director: CUT! Ryan, you said googles, not goggles!

Ryan: Oops, sorry!

Daniel (Off set): You stole my googles?!

(Crew members laugh)

Tyler: Sir, I didn't say anything about googles. I'm not even that sure on what those are.

(Ryan blushes)

Ryan: I am really embarrased right now.

Director: Okay, let's take it from the top.

Season 3

Kashy!

Director: Alright, In this scene, you accidentally blow up Daniel's experiment. So eat this ghost chilli salsa and be on your way.

(Kashy eats ghost chilli salsa and starts rapidly exploding everything including the set)

Kashy: HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

Director: CUT!

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